Confidence

Do you suffer from a lack of confidence? and this can be confidence in any area of your life.

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At work, in sports or amongst other guys and girls. I think you may have had the feeling at some point before, you do something silly or have the attention all on you, and you wish you could shrink into something small and get sucked up by a hole in the floor.


Believe it or not when I was at school I had massive confidence issues both speaking in front of my class, but particularly to girls. This is coming from someone who was captain of the Baseball team, football team and even the number 1 table tennis player in the school. People knew me from other schools because of my sporting ability, yet I would get hot and flustered getting up and reading a page in a book in front of the class, and this wasn’t because I couldn’t read, it was just I really didn’t like or enjoy it and I would get super nervous and would stumble over my words.



When I was in music class I would hit the demo button so I would get sent out of the room instead of having to play in front of the class. Even after getting a contract for a football team, I was still nervous to get up and talk, yet on the football field people would know that I was in charge of these massive men as I would tell them where to go, what to do and what play we would do.


After going through high school as someone that had confidence on the sporting field, yet no confidence in myself in the real world, I got to the point of where I had enough.

Having nerves isn’t a bad thing, in fact when used correctly it can help you out. Having nerves shows that you care, and it means that you will be unlikely to take it easy and neglect it. Think if I was to go into a cage fight and not have some sort of nerves, or let's call it being excited.


Before I go any further, why would I do a little switch in the wording from being nervous, to being excited? Think about the physiological effects of being nervous. Your heart rate goes up, your breathing rate goes up, you may start sweating.

 

Let's have a look at the physiological effects of being excited. Your heart rate goes up, your breathing rate goes up, you may start sweating. So you can see that they are exactly the same.


As I was saying, if I wasn’t nervous, or excited, when I would go into a fight I wouldn’t be as sharp as I should be. Someone has been training for years to punch, kick and wrestle me, it would be silly of me not to be excited and be as sharp as possible in there.


When I started a new job, I decided that they didn’t know my past, besides that I was a footballer, so I thought that I would walk in as I was someone that had confidence. I basically did the fake it till you make it technique. I know many people won’t like this idea as they feel it is inauthentic, yet I used it successfully and it faked it till I made it, then ultimately I became it. I have used this technique many times with great results.


Another thing I do is to tell myself, what is the worst that can happen? Often the worst that can happen is they say no, and you are exactly where you are at the moment. It is very rare that the worst will occur, and that you will suffer bodily harm. Often if you don’t ask or try you will be far worse off.


We have to remember that we all have confidence in something and we just have to find out what that is and how we can bring that confidence into other parts of our lives.

What is the worst that can happen?
What will happen if I don’t act?
Why are you so affected by people's thoughts?

If you would like to learn more about how I overcame my low confidence and moved forward in life, and how you can learn from my experiences click here.